Things Better Left Unsaid

Isuspect everyone who knows me thinks "oh that Kym, she's so outspoken" (that or "her big mouth is going to get her beat down one day") but I often say I don't get enough back-pats for my remarkable self-control.

Case in point yesterday's soccer game in a nearby community. This I refer to as "the place where sportsmanship goes to die." I'm sure not EVERY Fan in their league is annoying but they definitely do take annoyance and poor sportsmanship to a higher art form than other communities. I'm just sayin'.

For Matthew's U15 game, their player  knocked out our goalie by kicking her when she had the ball. When that didn't work he simply grabbed her jersey and threw her down. She's a tough one but being body slammed did, in fact, cause her to lose her grip on the ball. As she fell their player then stepped around her and kicked the now dropped ball into the goal. While the poor girl lay, prone on the field with our coach assessing her injuries, a little gaggle of parents from the other team mused, idly, "so do we get to keep that goal?" This is when I knew I was sitting on the sidelines with Satan's own soccer fans.

Meanwhile, another community was removed from the league a few years ago for "being too rough and playing dirty." To which I can only suggest that unless they brought guns and knives to the field, I find it hard to believe they were any rougher than this group.

During Kassie's game we were sitting near "Cody's" family. Cody's family, it should be noted, was very vocal. Now, hey, I love to cheer for the kids - mine and anyone else's - as much as the next soccer fan. I like a nice "good job Morgan, great hustle Nick, it's okay we'll get 'em the next time!" as much as the next person. I aim to cheer as much, if not more, for other people's kids because I know the little thrill of excitement when someone else is cheering for a kid. I am not, I promise, the Grinch that stole soccer fandom.

Then we come to  "Cody." Or shall I say "CODY! CODY! CODY! CODY! CODY! CODY! CODY!" screamed at top pitch ad nausea throughout the entire game. Seriously. "Go Cody! Get the ball CODY! Good job CODY! Get 'em CODY! You go CODY! GO CODY! GO CODY! GO CODY! GO!!!" Maybe I'm just jealous because Cody had about fifteen fans and every last damned one of them was bent on making sure that Cody - and people in the next county - knew they were there by God. Lest you think that Cody was special needs and only repeated instruction from the sidelines kept him on track let me assure you that is not the case. Cody could play ball. I kind of suspected he ran faster just to get the he@$ away from all the screaming from the sidelines.  We just leaned over to each other from time to time and said, wryly, "I'm not sure, but I think one of those kids might be named Cody ..." It was that or resort to yelling "Cody please come poke my eardrums out so I don't have to listen to these people screaming your name another second!"

Of course, "Mercedes" parents were not to be outdone by Cody's fan base. So THEY started screaming "Go Mercedes, Run Mercedes!" etc. etc. What they lacked in getting such a late start in making sure their child's name was out there loud and proud they more than made up for in volume.

Now, I am usually a fairly nice person and I pick on people my own age - not children. I also  have children named out of thin air and after a soap opera character, respectively, so I am hardly one to throw stones. However, after already being worn to a nub with "Cody," "MERCEDES!" was just the icing on the cake.

It took all I had to keep me from leaping up and starting to randomly  yell my own cheers at non-existent players on OUR team. I was dying to start with "GO TOYOTA CORROLLA!" "MOVE THAT BALL Impala!"

Somehow I just knew, however, that when I started to cheer for "Toyota Prius" and "Ford Focus" the jig would most definitely be UP.

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