Reach Out

'Tis the season to reach out and hug someone - or choke them.

Either way one of you is going to feel better. ;)

*The Small Wonders c. 1999

The Big Reveal

If you have followed the bathroom project (also known as the #$#@## Bathroom Project) from the very beginning, or read any of the three columns about it here, here, or here then you might be mildly curious about how it all turned out. I'd say "swimmingly" but frankly the idea of large pools of water makes me nervous. That's kind of how we started in the first place.


 allen + roth 31" White Carrara Bath Vanity with Top. Lowes
 American Olean 12" x 12" Sausalito White White Ceramic Floor Tile
Delta Faucets
Beadboard, Crown Molding, and Corner Blocks Lowes
Wall Color Sherwin Williams Evergreen "Silverpoint"
Trim Color Sherwin Williams Cabinet and Trim Paint, Semi-Gloss "Extra White"
Shower Curtain: "Silver" Target
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Dick's Sporting Goods Amazing 20% Off Absolutely Nothing Sale

Time for my annual "Why Dick's Sporting Goods is the Most Annoying Retailer on Earth" post. Every year - every week really, Dick's sporting goods pelts me with emails touting their amazing % off savings "storewide." In reality their coupons always read something like this.* "*See Promo for Details."

Clicking on that pesky little "Details" link will lead you to the list below. When you finish reading that, stop and figure for a moment what exactly a Dick's Sporting Goods 20% (in this case) coupon IS good on? Gum?

Seriously, if you have ever had success purchasing a desired major brand with a Dick's Sporting Good's coupon I'd love to hear from you. I know you are out there. Somewhere. Probably all alone.

Offer valid only while supplies last and not applicable to canceled orders due to out-of-stock merchandise. Discount does not apply to taxes, shipping and handling charges or similar charges. Discount not applicable with returned merchandise; total discount will be deducted from the value of any returned item to which the discount applied. Discount excludes clearance merchandise and the following:
  • anon
  • asics
  • atlas
  • babolat
  • Bauer / nike hockey
  • big agnes
  • billabong
  • bionic
  • brine
  • brooks
  • burton
  • callaway golf
  • ccm
  • Cobra
  • columbia
  • cuddeback
  • deckers outdoor corp
  • decente
  • diamondback
  • dwindle distribution
  • ecco
  • element skateboards
  • escalade
  • eureka
  • eyeking
  • fishpond
  • footjoy
  • garmin
  • g-loomis
  • gita sports ltd
  • goaliath
  • goalrilla
  • gregory
  • head
  • humminbird
  • hurley
  • ion
  • jetboil
  • jordan
  • k2
  • kettler
  • korkers
  • leatherman
  • lifetime
  • livestrong
  • lowrance
  • minn kota
  • mizuno
  • MSR
  • navico
  • nike
  • nirve
  • NXe
  • odyssey
  • old town
  • o'neill
  • patagonia
  • ping
  • polar
  • prana
  • prince
  • quiksilver
  • red
  • Redington
  • reebok ccm / reebok hockey
  • rollerblade
  • ross reels
  • roxy
  • salomon
  • saucony
  • schutt sports
  • scientific anglers
  • scott
  • sea to summit
  • shimano
  • simms
  • sorel
  • spyder
  • st. croix rods
  • strider
  • strike master
  • STX
  • sun mountain
  • swarovski
  • taylormade
  • temple fork outfitters
  • tenpoint
  • the north face
  • therm a rest
  • thule
  • tippmann
  • titleist
  • tubbs
  • ugg australia
  • under armour
  • us army
  • van staal
  • volcom
  • warrior
  • wilson sporting goods
  • yakima
  • zeiss

Toothpaste Love

Our daughter, upon seeing this image pinned on Pinterest: "Honey, if your shampoo and toothpaste is talking to you, you have a problem."

I laugh. Every. Time. 

Honey I Love What You've Done With the Place

Witness the opportunity to be exposed to every single substance Society has deemed dangerous during the last 50 years all in one afternoon.

Don't be jealous. There's enough asbestos and lead paint for everyone .
I voted. Love my sticker!

Jagger cannot vote but he'd be all Paws to the Polls if he could ❤

May Clean Up Well

BoyWonder as Freshman Escort, Homecoming 2012. (I don't have permission from the young lady's family to share her image and not comfortable doing so without it. Suffice to say she was lovely :)

When I started writing he was balanced on my lap gumming a computer mouse and banging on the keyboard - look at him now. ♥

Best Part

Thanks to all who take the time to write. Your words are deeply appreciated.

Weekly Read: Shelf Life

Column: Shelf Life
"I took a shower with my refrigerator shelf last night, which is just every bit as sexy as it sounds."

Bat Kitteh is DISPLEASED With You

Bat Kitteh says "come a little closer so I can Ravage Your Face!!!"

See Also: Veterinarian, Not a Fan Of.

Column: The Care and Feeding of your Rabid Hyena  


The Internet would have us believe that cookies are bad when, in reality cookies are good. Real good.

Sure Tracking Cookies sare bad when they are bringing you unwanted porn.

Cookies are GOOD however when they are bringing butter and sugar with a hint of salty goodness straight to your lips - and hips.

Yesterdays cooler weather (hello 63 degrees in Ohio in AUGUST?) has me on a cookie baking and soup making kick. (<- This is why I will never be thin). There is also a method to my madness. A friend swears that Aldi's brand Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips are good enough to eat. Mr. Wonderful has steadfastly maintained that the only chocolate chip that will cross his lips is a Nestle Toll House chip. This then is our taste test. (Pay no attention to the burnt ones. We had a little issue with the timing on the first batch. We think the goats will like those. Can goats have chocolate? Anyone?) 

UPDATE: Aldi's chips are certainly quite good.

My Official Entry in the Cheap Persons Hall of Fame

And then there was that one time when I was profiled in Woman's Day for being just so incredibly cheap. (Woman's Day, September 2012, article by the very talented and savings savvy Sandy Fernandez.)
 And with this I officially become that friend you have to block because it's just "brag, brag and have I told you about my $1 jeans/" all the da#$ time. 

1-800 Smarty Pants

I think people just don't always get my sense of humor. Case in point: Talking with Customer Service for a website that will not load log-on for me. Finally figure it is a browser issue (?). Their site does not work with Chrome, Firefox, or Safari. 
"Can you use Explorer?" He asks. 
 "Not really" I say. 
"Why?" He asks. 
"Because it's not 1997?" 
He did not find me funny. At. All.

Dime Bag

A different kind of dime bag.

This Hollister beach/tote has been my daughter's go-to bag all summer long.

Made sweeter by the fact that I scored it for 10 cents (CENTS!) at a garage sale.

(Hint: Always look on the floor!) it was crumpled up under a table which is why I'm sure it wasn't snapped up earlier.

An Award? You Like Me! You Really, Really Like Me!

I don't usually brag (much) but um -- I WON AN AWARD. The National Newspaper Association awarded me "Honorable Mention, Best Humorous Column, Daily & Non‐daily Division, circulation 8,000 or more, The first cut is the deepest, Kymberly Foster Seabolt."

I have won an actual award for writing! Well for writing and ALMOST SEVERING MY OWN FINGER WITH A MANDOLIN SLICER BECAUSE I'M SIMPLE but really - for writing (and bleeding). I am so excited right now I cannot stand myself. Cue my Sally Field moment "You like me, You really, really like me!"

That, or they just took pity on a bleeder.

When A Bargain is Not a Bargain (Spotting a Fake)

I love a great deal. eBay has great deals! I saved easily 50% off the price of Philosophy's When Hope is Not Enough purchasing it on eBay versus what I would have paid on Philosophy's website or major retailer.
Doesn't this look great?

I loved and used it on my face nightly for at weeks, sure I had beaten the system. What a bargain!

Then I ran out and realized I had no time to wait for shipping (attention to detail not my strong suit). I sucked it up and picked up a bottle at Ulta, a verified retailer of authentic Philosophy products. Sure it stung to pay full price but sometimes a (vain) girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 

Once home, I placed the new (Ulta) bottle next to the old (eBay) bottle and got an eye opening surprise. 

Can you see the difference now?  

See how the Ulta-sourced bottle on the left has well placed font and design? 

In comparison, the eBay-sourced bottle on the right looks sloppy. The spacing in "May we grow beautiful as we grow wise" is so wrong as to be laughable. It's not properly justified. The spacing may have been created by random use of the "tab" key while drunk. How did I ever fall for this? What manufacturer with the attention to detail that Philosophy products enjoys would have let that fly. I felt so Incredibly Stupid realizing how easily I had been fooled by a great price and what seemed like the same product - but wasn't.

The rear of the bottles tell the final story. The product from eBay is clearly an aftermarket knock off bottle and label. Although I (fortunately) did not have an adverse reaction to the product it contained, I think it's safe to assume that no one goes to the trouble of creating counterfeit packaging in order to fill it with 100% guaranteed original product. 


How could I have been so blind? It's a wonder I'm NOT BLIND since I was putting goodness knows WHAT on my face for over a month, thinking I was using a tested and true product. I wasn't. 

To reiterate: eBay. Awesome for car parts, trading cards, and random concert tee shirts and collectible plates. NOT awesome for purchase of facial products and skin care. 

When purchasing a product priced "too good to be true" and a source that seems suspect at best (who ARE these people with truckloads of beauty products to be sold dirt cheap?) it pays to ask yourself what you would be willing to pay for a no name product of unknown origin. That's all you really "know" you are getting. 

When it comes to purchasing authentic product it pays to remember that Hope Is Not Enough - literally. 


There are numerous action shots taken of the Amazing Athletic Weekend the WonderKids had this weekend. Our daughter, 13, was delighted to be invited to take part in the Adidas National Showcase with her middle school team. Our son, an incoming freshman, was thrilled to attend his first tournament with his high school soccer team. To say we are over the moon proud of these kids and the accomplishments following so much hard work is an understatement!

In all the actions shots, the headers, the amazing grace and leaps and speed there are two photos I come back to time and again as my absolute favorites of the weekend. These are the photos that, if I could only have two, I would keep forever.

To me these photos say it all.

Pray to Play ♥


The driveway bunnies continue their bid to not become even a little bit smarter. They remain firmly convinced that all cars will stop and/or swerve around them. This is the evolutionary process IN REVERSE. Eventually someone who is not me is going to come along and not be as invested in rolling down the window yelling "Bunnies. Move bunnies! Shoo bunnneeehhhs" and they are going to get creamed. 
 Not everyone has the crucial bunny herder instinct like I do.
My hero. That patio table umbrella wasn't blowing away on HIS watch.

Sweden o' the Mall

Ikea is basically a poor man's Pottery Barn. Impossible levels of charm and organization. Ikea also has meatballs while Pottery Barn has foolishly opted not to provide snacks.

I usually head to Ikea with a head full of amazing ideas and possibilities. Then I wander around for a few hours, become overwhelmed with all the choices, lose the tiny pencil they give you to take notes on where to find the items you want/need in the vast warehouse the size of Sweden, and come home with a black picture frame or a new ladle in some color that matches nothing in my house but would work well if I lived in a cool SoHo loft (which I do not). This time, however, I had a Plan.  GirlWonder needed a new light fixture - something "funky" and "cool."

There is only one word for that: Ikea!

Admiring the Meatballs. (She actually ordered a salad because she REFUSES TO FOLLOW RULES).
No Idea what these are but they appear to be very well stocked.
Oh, a Snake Back Scratcher (?) Of course! (?) You really can't ever have too many of those.
Yes. This appears Funky Enough.
This is how they fool you into thinking that if you just put all your clutter behind glass front cabinets it becomes Art. The Swedes are a sneaky people.
She had to have him. We call him Woody. Just like all the other people who have ever purchased this ever. 
Still love that light.
Some (read: all) assembly required. You can tell by the placement of my feet that I am an integral part of this process.
Also makes a lovely headpiece.