I don't usually brag (much) but um -- I WON AN AWARD. The National Newspaper Association awarded me "Honorable Mention, Best Humorous Column, Daily & Non‐daily Division, circulation 8,000 or more, The first cut is the deepest, Kymberly Foster Seabolt."
I have won an actual award for writing! Well for writing and ALMOST SEVERING MY OWN FINGER WITH A MANDOLIN SLICER BECAUSE I'M SIMPLE but really - for writing (and bleeding). I am so excited right now I cannot stand myself. Cue my Sally Field moment "You like me, You really, really like me!"
That, or they just took pity on a bleeder.