May your days be merry and bright ...

Merry Christmas to all and to all many good nights!

Here we present to you our Christmas cookies. They are a tad stale (being from 2007 and all) but still, delish! Oh no really, have some, you should ... they're fabulous ...

May you have a good, have a happy, have a safe, and have a prosperous New Year!

Cookies  Anticipation  

It's beginning to look a lot like ...

Caricature time! Caricatures

Easily the coolest gift ever! Mr. Wonderful's Equally Wonderful Employer (EWE) hosted a fantabulous Christmas Party this weekend. There were clowns, magicians, minstrels and Santa - oh my! There was also ... drumroll please ... a caricaturist (word?) Oh how I love them! I have wanted one of these of my kids for just a stitch past FOREVER. I've only seen them at amusement parks, however, and the children never showed the slightest bit of amusement when I suggested they sit still in the blazing hot sun to have them made.

Until now. I am going to use caricatures for EVERYTHING. Seriously, in my caricature I will be thin, and 20 years old ... for the children the look is a LOT more realistic!

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Good tidings of joy to you and all yours (and mine too!)

Y'all are Hee-larious

Really. I am surrounded by jokesters and funny folk. That is the only explanation for why I received THIS in my email just days before my approaching birthday. While I am reaching "a certain age"
 I assure you I am not quite ready for retirement (not that there's anything wrong with that). To whomever signed me up for AARP, you know who you are (even if I don't!)


Democracy smells a lot like ... pie

I-voted I pity the people who cast absentee ballots. Our polling place is a local church. We vote, catch up with neighbors, browse the bake sale and annual bazaar, and come away the better for it. Today I scored some vintage Tupperware, an antique(ish) cider bottle, and a fantastic cherry crumb.

For me, democracy is an enjoyable part of small town life. And Freedom smells a lot like pie.


Every dog has his day

So Jagger doesn't whine, complain, and carry on, he too shall get his moment of glory. 


Quote of the Day

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

                                                         ~Henry Ward Beecher

A dog and his log ...

As promised in this week's column, Ace and his aspirations toward bigger and better logs


He dreams big this dog.  

Dog in weeds 

We call this one "Dog in weeds ..." The log is slightly more manageable in size, yet still hurts like the dickens if he hits you with it.


Early log. Hardly more than a stick really. This one barely left a mark ...

Good Tidings to you - and cheap gifts too!

Getting an early jump on that Holiday Shopping? These early 1970's commercials might help!
Because nothing says "yuletide joy" like cozying up to the flickering glow of a candle burning down into Barbra Streisand's head. And the $1.95 Papermate pen might be back in the budget this year!
It's worth it just for the savvy commercial for the 1977 Ford Pinto with, I kid you not, "redesigned fuel features." I assume that's some smart advertising guy's technical term for "will no longer explode upon minor impact!" I hope that guy got his Christmas Bonus that year.
Good times the 70's. Speaking of cars, what ever happened to "rack and pinion steering?" Do we no longer rack? Pinioning is no longer needed? Of course it also had that rockin' AM stereo ...

Yeah, what he said ...


"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it." - Mark Twain


If only your mother had warned you about that ...

Because even though I'm nearly 4x older than my child, I couldn't possibly know more than he does ...

(click on image below to open a larger, readable image).

2008-07 MM If only your mother had warned you

One minute ...

One minute they are scoring goals for the OTHER team and getting tangled in the nets ~ and the next they are playing like they're getting paid! First game of the 2008 season and our son's team won in a hotly contested 3-2 score. For the record, he scored ALL THREE GOALS. Oh yeah, we were just a teensy bit proud :) If only because after playing myself over the winter I know without a doubt that I could never do that. Period.

 It's humbling to realize I could not do what my 'baby' does. 

DSC_0077-edit  DSC_0082-edit

What I did on my summer vacation ...


A whole lot of this. Sitting on the beach with a lapful of light reading and a friend on either side. Kind of like Heaven ... with snacks.


Because SERIOUSLY why WOULD you spend the nano-second it would take to clean up the spill when you could spend a good ten minutes or more fashioning tiny little "Caution: Wet Floor" signs (complete with visual aids of the stick figure undergoing what appears to be severe bodily harm) instead?

Aug 02 2008 009 Aug 02 2008 003

Uber-cute things


How cute is this? I received this the other day from a reader of my column who over the years of correspondence via email has become a friend. She recently became an official published writer-type person in her own right and I'm so proud! Go Jennifer!

Did you know?

That if you leave bait in the back of a van in 90 degree heat for three days it will smell like something died in there?


Ask me how I know? :)

Gone. In a snap.

I am replacing my beloved Cybershot DSC-P200 (may it rest in peace) because, as it turns out, cameras can't swim. Nor do they enjoy hot soapy baths. Go figure.

I, as it also turns out, am a moron. I had no idea but the proof is there. It comes out as soon as I relate how it happened that I dropped it (heck, who am I kidding? It was a homicide. That camera was pushed!)

The story goes like this So my camera was stored where it always is, on the shelf above the kitchen sink ... and, well, it just goes downhill (downsink?) from there. One wrong move and you are pulling your beloved digital camera from the depths of a sink full of hot, soapy water.

For the record: cameras do not like that. At all.

To add to the "how does she even manage to be walking around upright?" of it all, the camera was actually plugged into a charger at the time and when it went under, I instinctively reached into the water and pulled it out! It's a wonder I wasn't electrocuted. 

See? What'd I tell you? Moron! That's me.

Sigh. To some (rational) people a camera is a nice thing to have but certainly not a necessity by any means. They would replace it when - and if - they felt the need "someday."

I am not such a rational person. My camera is like an extension of myself. My third eye. I felt kind of light-headed and sick contemplating life without a camera. Head between the knees, breathe deeply, stay calm sort of sick.

My motto has long been If I don't have a picture of it - it didn't happen.

Bless you little DSC-P200. We had 3.5 great years together. May you rest in peace. Or pieces.

Having worked through the five stages of grief over it in near-record time, I'm off to Best Buy to throw myself on the mercy of some seventeen year old "sales associate" who will put me back in photographic form.

Happy Independence Day!

DSC01219 010 

Because nothing asserts your Independence like sporting THIS get-up without benefit of alcohol - or having lost a bet.

Niagara Falls or bust (or both)

Just got back from here DSC01100 036

Had a MARVELOUS time! Seriously I cannot recommend this ENOUGH. The entire trip I could not turn off the inner-writer and kept composiing a travelogue in my head. Short version: stay in the Clifton Hills area - it's a must. It is also about half price in early June as at any other time in the summer. We were minutes from the Falls, museums, and all by foot and paid less than $100 per night for a two-room suite. Travel with family you really love so that sharing a two-room suite isn't a problem. :)

Walk everywhere except to dinner. It's worth the savings - even at $4+ per gallon (litre, whatever) and drive just ten minutes out to pay far less for dinner. Tim Horton's is the only breakfast you will ever need. Get the Fruit Explosion muffin or cruller (or heck, both). You won't be sorry. Your waistline is another story, however.

Feed the one-footed seagull. We know him as "stumpy."

Read the plaques. We called it the "Death and Nature's Destruction" tour but we learned a ton. Our daughter was up at 6:00 a.m. our first day home, just itching to Google for more information on the stories we had read.

Buy the passes. I'm usually uber-resistant to being told what to do but the Adventure Pass packages include a day's free transportation and admission to eight attractions for a fraction of the per-site price.

The Butterfly Conservatory is way cooler than you'd think. If, however, you are a teenager with a low tolerance for winged things flying at you, it may not be for you.

Pay attention to the heritage sights. It's eye-opening to realize that Americans were the "advancing forces" they were keeping at bay in 1812. Sure, the Canadians have pretty much forgiven us by now, but it was an interesting spin on our normally American-centric view of history for both young and old(er) alike.

If you can read this ...

Bully for you because you are a rarity indeed!

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What Matters

A tossaway shot from the Memorial Day ceremony that became more meaningful once I saw the reflection captured in her glasses.

May 26 2008 038

So close ...

So close ... but yet so far. Why is is that people who can kick a very small ball downfield, past a half-dozen or more opposing teammates and manage to PUT IT IN A GOAL are somehow incapable of nudging their shoes a foot to the left so they are in the approved shoe storage area?

May 17 2008 009_edited-2

Imperfect Parent called ...

... they say I fit the bill PERFECTLY. Who is more imperfect than I? 

Starting immediately I am a writer/blogger for The Imperfect Parent and proud to be there. Please come on over and give me a shout out, comments, whatever. It's a good time. The whole site is fab so do check it out while you're there.

My first love will continue to be writing lengthy columns about my continued lack-of-love-affair with bats and all the ways my family, friends, and old house are trying to kill me and make it look like an accident, but "will blog for food" has a nice ring to it too. Here's to diversifying!

And who among us couldn't use to relax and embrace a little more imperfection too?

Jack & Coke & Ramona the Pest

And tonight we shall have a discussion on what IS and what ISN'T an appropriate book mark for the 3rd Grade Book Report Book.


For my BFF and all the rest of us "of a certain age ..."

Let's just say that if you remember when you just 'had to have" this stuff then we *know* you are old enough to drink.

I guess it says something when teens today want to "bring sexy back" and teens in my day just wanted to smell like a baby's behind ... and 7up.



Oscar says ...

Be Yourself - everyone else is already taken

                       ~Oscar Wilde