Bunnies, Brassieres, and Bargains

Otherwise known as our Fabulous Friday and Most Excellent Auction Adventure. Living within shouting distance of one of the tri-state region’s premiere flea market, produce sale, and weekly auction, it only goes to figure that we would never, ever go there for the first decade or more that we lived here.

Meanwhile, people drive for HOURS to come to visit something that is almost in my backyard and me, I couldn’t be bothered to attend. Every Friday I cursed the traffic and wondered WHAT IN THE WORLD people found there, and then drove over to the grocery store to pay $10 for a kiwi. To be fair for many years I was toting babies, then toddlers, then two small children both fascinated, and frustrated, by all the bright colors and random roaming chickens.

Nowadays, the children are much less prone to wander off, tip over a 10,000 watermelon high display, or chase chickens and we find we are enjoying the auction/sale very much. It is a happy, colorful place where frugality and fair food intersect. Sublime.

If you do nothing else at LEAST scroll halfway down the posts for the cutest, most darling and precious photos you can ever hope to see. Seriously, so sweet your teeth will ache.


Sweetie back AWAY from the grimy  thing. I'm pretty sure you have two just like it at home.

Okay, I confess that a few years ago I would have been hyperventilating by now. This is a scrapbook paper rack with spinning embellishment holder atop it. I seriously would have plotzed and HAD TO BUY IT NOW. TAKE MY MONEY NOW! NOW! It sold for $3 and I confess that had I realized that was happening, I STILL would have bid on it. The fact that I would have scored two wholly useless to me trail-view mirrors is just a sad bonus.

People seriously pay .75 cents a basket for this stuff. Makes gardening myself - and all the work involved - seem foolish, at best.

I didn't count them. I'm trusting this one ...

Anyone need 500+ assorted pet collars? Anyone? Quite the bargain at $45 for all. Granted, veterinary care for the dozens of dogs you’d need to buy to wear these is definitely going to set you back …


This mixer came with two dough hooks, meringue beater, two bowls and sold for $35 only because I let the other lady have it because as frugal as I am I couldn't face taking it home to find out it didn't work. This despite the fact that the box SAID "works perfectly" and, as we all know, auction boxes never lie. If you purchased this and it works like a charm please keep that information to yourself because otherwise, I might cry.

I don't know what this battered bed base did, but apparently, it's sorry.

This guy was a hoot. He plunked himself down and made smart comments about all the items for sale. He was hilarious. HIM I would have bid on, had he been available. Sure I already have one of these but mine is the younger model and I think the older model would have been a nice addition to my set.

It's important to test out the merchandise prior to bidding …
  
Aw ... if this was any more precious and darling it would put us right into a sugar coma.

Again more squee preciousness. You were warned.

This sight just makes me want to bake something.

Anyone need a couple hundred pounds of onions? Anybody? You could probably buy these for a buck.

Okay, I'll confess that hate that I am so petty that "brake down all boxes" has been causing me actual head pain for years now ... It's "break.” "BREAK" Unless you planned to slow those boxes the heck down in which case you are spot on. Still, I think everyone who matters gets the meaning and pedantic little snots like me can just keep walkin' ...



These are all the cutest of my most favorite things at the sale. You can buy everything except BFF’s Sara and Trin. They are most definitely not-for-sale.


At the intersection of massive coronary and high blood pressure. That's where my sweetie likes to hang

Fries AND sweet tea. I just need to pull this cart to my house and I'll never have to cook again.


I don't know if this was just an unfortunate choice of shorts "oh no honey, they don't make you look effeminate at ALL," or if he lost a bet, or if he is just in touch with the feminine side but I say you get on with your bad self. I think any guy that would wear a skirt into the true “heart of the country” deserves a shout-out and “nice legs” too.

This awesome display of roadkill themed stuffed animals would make a lovely gift for any child ...


Who cut the cheese? Sorry, couldn't resist ...

Just in case you haven't found the perfect, tasteful gift for that hard-to-buy-for person in your life.

Hey, streetwalkers like bargains too ...


Not only do you get sustenance and sexy shoes and some good old-fashioned advice too.


These are lovely and, should I ever find myself a headless  person with a 12" waist, I'm definitely going to wear one. Until then I’m just a chunky, jealous hater who hopes that the “one size fits all” tag is not taken literally


More pretty fruit because, hello, it’s a produce sale and it’s so good you just can’t help but buy it, buy it, and then buy some more. I think you can buy a week's worth of fruits and veggies for like $20 or less. No problem.


Bras $10 a pack. I give kudos for the remarkable self-control shown by both sellers and customers alike that no one has ever taken one of those knock-off Sharpies and altered that sign to say "$10 a RACK." Keepin’ it classy. Good for you!


Fully admitting that both "U.S. Sheetrock" and "Enjoy Squirt" called out to me. Having run out of walls, however, I was able to fend them off, but barely.

It pays to know your market.You have to applaud a seller who puts "The Wine Book" within close reach of "The Strong Willed Child." I think those might come as a set.


The best homemade ice cream - and the sweetest lady scooping it out. She seriously was just so pretty and kind that I wanted to put her in my purse and take her home – as a reminder of the kind of personality I want to have, but rarely do.

And the fact that one imprisoned in my purse she would have no choice but to make me homemade, velvety lush black raspberry ice cream had no bearing on my desires. No, not at all *liar*


I cannot lie. I'm drawn to this like flies to honey because you never know when you might need a 1990's CD player, harvest gold wineglass, mushroom shaped salt and pepper shakers, or Nascar Christmas stocking.


Contrary to popular belief that only "old stuff" is sold here, many sellers offer cutting-edge, timely, and of-the-moment merchandise too.


Finally, I kid you not we were two rows over and I spied this and got all fluttery and stupid in wanting to be the first to show this to Mr. Wonderful "OMG It's the GENERAL LEE!!! Suddenly it was 1980-something and it was if I truly believed that I was *this close* to meeting Bo Duke. Who I would, of course, marry and we would live happily ever after - on the set of "Dallas."

All photos taken at Roger's Community Auction which graciously allowed me to wander around snapping pictures of random items and never even considered calling the Sheriff - at least not that I'm aware of. Thanks! We ♥ your sale!

Just say "no can do."

Next time I consider volunteering for anything at all I hope I remember that I do not like being "behind the scenes." I like staying firmly in FRONT of the scenes where everything is clean, and easy, and sanitized for my protection.

Say Larry ....

Listening to Carrie Underwood's ballad of complete psychosis "Before He Cheats": "... I carved my name into his leather seats..." Kassie rolls her eyes and says all matter-of-fact "carved your own name? That's just stupid." (Pause ...) ... "I'd put "Larry."

Portrait of the Author ... in Squishiness

Here we have the ever popular "squish together for arms length self-portrait" photo of my son and I. This is because if I ask Mr. Wonderful to take a photo of us together he will heft up the camera, say "cheese" and inevitably take the WORST portrait ever . Bonus points if he can manage to add a couple of chins and flyaway hair for me and crazy eyes for the child. He also favors candids of me chewing or speaking with my mouth hanging wide open as if waiting to catch flies. Although, in his defense, chewing and speaking are default positions for me and it's probably difficult to catch me NOT doing one of those things.

Because I am a) a big sissy; b) lazy; c) both of the above, I tend to take on any new home decor or renovation project with enough trepidation that you would think I was considering adding a third child to the family, instead of just changing out the drapes.
Because I live in fear of painter's remorse (where you realize right after the first swipe of paint from a $30/gallon of paint that you have made a horrible mistake in your choice of hue), I tend to wallow in inactivity rather than just seizing the day - and paintbrush - and living large. I am also really tight with money to the point of squeaking and, as a result, tend to hate spending so much as a dime unless I am sure that I am saving 95-97% off retail and that the dime I do spend will result in million dollar rewards. So, as you can see, I don't ask for much. Just a freshening of paint, a few new knick-knacks, and a renewed outlook on life.

Spending far too much time on the internet pursuing decorating blogs has taught me the wisdom of creating "Vision Boards." Basically, this is artsy-fartsy speak for taking photos of the rooms, or pieces of rooms, that you like and throwing them all together in one big collage to get a "feel" for the overall look you like. I use Picasa, a free Google product, to organize photos and create these helpful little snippets of what I hope to find.

Below is a Vision Board thrown together from various sources to give an idea of the overlying theme that kept calling to me again and again when viewing catalogs and decorating blogs. I honestly had no idea until I gathered all these little pics in one place that I apparently really like the exact shade of blue-green Ball or Mason jars. Who knew?

Witness: One Vision Board



Witness: The Finished Product (minus the professional lighting). Below is our master bedroom properly outfitted via Vision Board inspiration and my rampant nerd love of all things thrifty and technological rolled int one.