Dear Dick's Sporting Goods, I hate you. The end. is prominently featuring "25% off any one item" on their website for CyberMonday. Including WITHIN that promo box are links telling you to "shop apparel."

While an asterisk is present, nowhere could I find the exclusions that undoubtedly apply. No matter what I put in my cart from those links, including the most non-descript bag, not a single item would show the discount. I finally had to call Customer Service where Antonio, though kind, basically informed me that I was just supposed to put full-price items in my cart and hope to accidentally stumble upon the rare, magical item that might qualify. Perhaps Dick's sell unicorns?

He finally allowed that if I typed the word "exclusion" into their search bar I would find the list of excluded items which is LITERALLY EVERY BRAND DICK'S CARRIES. Seriously.

Offer excludes adidas golf, Adams Golf, Asics, Atec, Baby Jogger, Bauer, Boats, Bowflex,Burton,Canoes, Carhartt, Callaway, Championship Merchandise, Cleveland, Cobra Golf, Columbia, DeMarini, EA Sports Active, Easton, Ektelon, Escape, Fitness Quest, Fly Flot, FootJoy, Fossil, Gun Safes, Head, Horizon,Jordan, Jugs, Kayaks, K2, Kettler, K-Swiss, Lobster, Louisville Slugger, Magnum,Maui, MBS Mountainboards, MBT, Merrell, Miken Sports, Mission, Mizuno, Mongoose, Nextt Golf, Nike Pro, Nike Golf, Nike, Nike Livestrong, Nike Hyperize, Nike AF1, Oakley, Odyssey,Prince, Pro Feet, Puma, Rawlings, Razors, Rollerblade, Salomon, Schwinn, Skycaddie, Speedstik, Spring Step, Sole, TaylorMade, The North Face, Thule, Titleist, Tour Edge, Trend Sports, Trolling motors, Under Armour, and Worth, all electronics/optics, ellipticals, Fish locators,Reebok Easytone, Reebok ZIG, Reebok Runtone, treadmills, home gyms, Ugg,weights, benches, Yakima and select basketball systems.

What's left? Gum?

I know I can just not shop there but I really think this is lazy at best and deceptive at worst. I mean I followed the link IN THEIR 25% off box and nothing that came up even remotely qualifies. 

Liars, liars, athletic pants (some exclusions apply) on fire. 


Brian said...

very true (and funny). buying shoes there makes me feel like a stalker, trying to hunt down some Ryan or Brittany, whose usual response to "do you have those in a 10 and a half" is "dude, like I'm not sure I'll be back in about 37 minutes and like maybe let you know or something...dude"


Kymberly Foster Seabolt said...

I hear you Brian!

Lately they've taken to meeting you at the front entrance, Walmart (or Olive Garden!) style to ask "can I help you?"

The funny part? They have no intention of "helping" you beyond random pointing to one of four corners of the store "Oh I think you'll find that over there."

Um, okay, thanks? They actually PAY people to indicate that they THINK you MIGHT find something somewhere within the four corners of the store? That's awesome! (Not).