Torturing children for fun and photos

Every fall since they were small I have herded the children out into the yard and forced them to pose for me. Used to be I could bribe them with candy. Now that they can score their own candy, I have to go for the hard stuff: “Because I said so” and threats of grave bodily harm. You do what works.
It’s been amazing to watch them grow, in a blink, from humans so tiny they could scarcely hold their bobble heads up long enough to be photographed into full fledged lanky people who can count and know that “just a few more shots” is not, in fact, 300 more shots. Back then I lived in dread fear that my then two-year old son would allow his months-old sister to topple out of the swing and on to the ground face first and how would I explain THAT to grandma?

Today I live in dread fear that someday they will have valid excuses to dodge my annual Fall Photo Sessions. Things like “mom I have to work” or “mom I moved out five years ago.”

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